I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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