We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
