she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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