Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
