9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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