My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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