i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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