saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Swine flu. Run for my life!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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