Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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