we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
