your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
