Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
