She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
