i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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