walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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