Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
