my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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