While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
