No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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