1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
