Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
