What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
