Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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