Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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