I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
