So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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