The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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