why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
