Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
