We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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