We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
