how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
