I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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