it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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