I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
