SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my being single is dangerous.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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