Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
ttyl tear gas
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
