whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
