if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
