so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
