turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
