Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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