hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
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