Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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