i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
