Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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