We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
