just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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