idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I wish there were birth control emojis
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
