That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Randomize
