i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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