I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
tonight lets celebrate not being married
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
