For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
